One of the things I’ve noticed as I’ve learned more about Jesus Christ over the years is that there is a big difference between believing something in your head, and knowing it in your heart.
Believing comes from being taught; knowing comes from experience. I’ve learned about Jesus from the day I was born, and I always believed He existed and loved me. But as I got older, life got harder, and those principles I’d learned all my life were put to the test. I truly began to know in my heart as I was supported through my trials.
About a year and a half ago, I gave birth to our son, Oliver. During the entire pregnancy, I was afraid. Afraid of labor and delivery, of the possibility of complications, and of my ability to handle the pain and exhaustion that comes with childbirth. Every single night my husband and I would pray for our unborn son, and pray that all would go well during and after the delivery.
I carried Oliver until his due date, and saw miracle after miracle that day at the hospital. My fear of an epidural was overcome with a kind anesthesiologist who distracted me with stories of his family while inserting the needle and accompanying catheter in my back. Countless nurses helped with the monitoring of my progress, and when we had a few minor complications, they kept me calm and solved them all quickly. Our baby was born perfectly healthy.
I’ve never felt a stronger love for anyone than I did during those first few weeks with my son. I was in a lot of pain, but it all felt SO worth it. It gave me a small glimpse of God’s love for me, and I truly felt that He was there every step of the way. I truly came to understand the meaning of “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Phil 4:13).